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line 696: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead [phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions_content.php on line 696: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead [phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions_content.php on line 696: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is no longer supported, use preg_replace_callback instead [phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4762: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3897) [phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4764: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3897) [phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4765: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3897) [phpBB Debug] PHP Warning: in file [ROOT]/includes/functions.php on line 4766: Cannot modify header information - headers already sent by (output started at [ROOT]/includes/functions.php:3897) FPS AREA • View topic - UMOR
Vă informăm că banca noastră va instala Bancomate noi, ce vor permite clienţilor să efectueze tranzacţii fără a se mai da jos din maşină. Dacă doriţi să utilizaţi acest nou serviciu, vă rugăm să urmaţi paşii din procedurile de mai jos. După mai multe luni de verificări am elaborat proceduri diferite pentru bărbaţi şi femei, pe care vă rugam să le aplicaţi după caz.
PROCEDURA "BĂRBAŢI"
> 1. Opriţi maşina în dreptul Bancomatului. > 2. Coborâţi geamul portierei. > 3. Introduceţi cardul în fanta Bancomatului şi tastaţi PIN-ul. > 4. Tastaţi suma dorită. > 5. Recuperaţi cardul, luaţi banii şi chitanţa. > 6. Ridicaţi geamul portierei. > 7. Continuaţi-vă drumul.
PROCEDURA "FEMEI"
> 1 Opriţi maşina în dreptul Bancomatului. > 2 Treceţi schimbătorul de viteze în marşarier şi încercaţi să reveniţi în dreptul Bancomatului. Repetaţi dacă este nevoie. > 3 Trageţi frâna de mână şi coborâţi geamul portierei > 4 Căutaţi poşeta. După ce o găsiţi, goliţi tot conţinutul pe scaunul din dreapta. Localizaţi şi extrageţi cardul dintre celelalte lucruri din poşetă. Puneţi lucrurile la loc în poşetă. > 5 Avertizaţi persoana cu care vorbiţi pe mobil că veţi reveni. Inchideţi mobilul. > 6 Incercaţi să introduceţi cardul în fanta Bancomatului > 7 Deschideţi portiera maşinii şi aplecaţi-vă, dacă poziţia în care aţi oprit este prea mare şi nu vă permite să ajungeţi la Bancomat. > 8 Introduceţi cardul în fanta Bancomatului. > 9 Reintroduceţi cardul în poziţia corecta. > 10 Căutaţi în poşetă carneţelul în care aţi notat PIN-ul, probabil pe ultima pagină . > 11 Introduceţi PIN-ul. > 12 Apăsaţi tasta "Anulare" şi introduceţi PIN-ul corect. > 13 Tastaţi suma dorită. > 14 Verificaţi-vă machiajul în oglinda retrovizoare. > 15 Luaţi banii şi chitanţa. > 16 Goliţi din nou poşeta pentru a găsi portofelul pentru bani. > 17 Notaţi suma retrasă în carneţel şi puneţi banii în portofel. > 18 Verificaţi-vă înca odată machiajul. > 19 Avansaţi doi metri cu maşina. Opriţi. > 20 Daţi înapoi până în dreptul Bancomatului. > 21 Recuperaţi cardul din Bancomat. > 22 Goliţi din nou poşeta şi căutaţi port-cardul. Introduceţi cardul în port-card. > 23 Faceţi semnul cu degetul şoferului disperat care aşteaptă în spatele dumneavoastră. > 24 Demaraţi şi continuaţi-vă drumul. > 25 Sunaţi persoana cu care vorbeaţi pe mobil şi reluaţi convorbirea. > 26 Conduceţi maşina aproximativ doi sau trei kilometri. > 27 Deblocaţi frâna de mâna.
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sursa: internet
Re: UMOR
Old Larry
Posted: Sat Sep 21, 2013 10:48 am
Site Admin
Joined: Wed Aug 07, 2013 6:36 pm Posts: 73 Location: ROMANIA
Location: Facebook:
UMOR F.E.A.R. (First Encounter Assault Recon) ATENTIE LA personajul "Frankie" !!! -Machine maker, ca sa vedeti cum s-au distrat progamatorii in pauze. Evident ca acest episod haios nu apare in jocul oficial decat in sectiunea "Video bonus" a DVD-ului "cumparat" P.S. Softul cu care am extras si convertit fisierele video din joc, ramane deocamdata "in teste".
_________________ Zambeste azi, maine ar putea fi mai rau -
Joined: Sat Sep 14, 2013 11:05 am Posts: 16 Location: Ilfov
Location: Facebook:
Din domeniul tehnologiei
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Re: UMOR
Old Larry
Posted: Fri Oct 25, 2013 11:43 am
Site Admin
Joined: Wed Aug 07, 2013 6:36 pm Posts: 73 Location: ROMANIA
Location: Facebook:
Noul mouse lansat de catre Microsoft
_________________ Zambeste azi, maine ar putea fi mai rau -
Re: UMOR
Jaffa
Posted: Fri Nov 01, 2013 8:29 am
Onorific
Joined: Sat Sep 14, 2013 11:05 am Posts: 16 Location: Ilfov
Location: Facebook:
Logica e totul:
Bei Suc de portocale! Pentru ca sucul de portocale inseamna sanatate, Sanatate inseamna Sport! Sport inseamna viata ! Viata inseamna Bani! Bani inseamna Femei! Femei inseamna Sex! Sex inseamna S.I.D.A ! S.I.D.A inseamna Moarte ! Nu mai bea SUC DE PORTOCALE ! Vrei sa mori? Mai bine bea O BERE!
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Re: UMOR
Jaffa
Posted: Wed Nov 20, 2013 8:06 am
Onorific
Joined: Sat Sep 14, 2013 11:05 am Posts: 16 Location: Ilfov
Location: Facebook:
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